Coconut
MATRU

Mexican telenovelas fascinated me
The drama, the secret killer
The intro and outro song
The unnecessary sound effects
It was everything

So I made a fan club in Elementary
Every morning 30 minutes before class
We discussed and laughed
Did Valentina and Jose Miguel kiss?
Was Rosendo Gavilan arrested?
Should I skip space camp
So I don’t miss episode 136?

But then Jr. High came
And I lost all my friends: white and brown
They said I was a loser and that I didn’t understand
This was the US, not Mexico City
Nobody wanted to talk about Reik and Ha*Ash or Luis Fonsi or Daddy Yankee (little did I know they would break the internet)
Back then It was all about Bruno Mars and that Maroon 5 guy.

I cried a lot.

I really did.
I wanted to be…
You guessed it.
Just.
Like the other kids

Afraid of being lonely I changed
I started watching Grey’s Anatomy
And listening to Taylor Swift
But it was useless, I loved Joan Sebastian
His romantic songs about rosas y Jaripeos
But it just wasn’t enough.

So I made a Twitter at age 12
Please don’t tell my mom was what I told my cousin
I talked to girls from Venezuela, Puerto Rico
Costa Rica, Argentina, Texas, California, Mexico, Connecticut and Chicago
Their names were Hellen, Fernanda, Millie, Katya , Camila, Mayra, Sarahi, Carina, Valeria and Samantha

Excited after school I ran to my computer
Connecticut is three hours ahead and Hellen is probably asleep by now.
I tweeted and I tweeted.
But then December came and everything changed.

I cried again.
I was frustrated.
We’re these really
the only friends I had?
The only ones that
Could understand.

So I walked to up to my old friends
And implored: “please fix me”
With the tilt of their head began my transformation.
They tried Law and Order and Miley Cyrus this time.
And Finally…
It clicked.
American pop culture suddenly became amazing

Now I listen to Ariana, Lana, and Katy
Lana makes that American Pie seem like a reality
So pass me a Pepsi-cola, please
I saw in her concert where I cried

My old friends would be so proud
That Car

Now I watch Mamma Mia and HBO shows like Big Little Lies.
John Oliver too he’s such a fun guy.
I hate when he’s on (break)

My old friends would be so proud.

Now I sit at family parties confused trying to figure out whose singing… is that J Balvin or Ozuna?
I never get up to dance, that’s in the past
I mostly sit and try talk to my grandma with my broken Spanish. Ugh, what happened?

My friends would be so proud to know that
Im the coconut in the family.
But they’re not my friends anymore
So does it really matter?

 

I Cut My Hair Again
MATRU

I cut my hair again
And regretted it

The scissors went snip
And my lungs searched for air

I guess I’ll have to wait
three months for my
Bangs to reach my brows

This always happens to me
When I get anxiety

Snip Snip

Snip Snip

Except for this time
It only happened once

My bangs are crooked
All because I decided to be cheap
Though really an excuse

Somehow I still ended up paying
Eight dollars

So that they would remain crooked
With a slant to the right

Snip Snip

Snip Snip

I cut my bangs again
All it took was a second

All because I thought it would
Clear the tension

The one that builds in your head
A drilling pain
Feeling like it will never end

Now, every time I bobby pin them up
I am reminded of my inner demons
Poking within me filled with irritation

They’re the ones that handed me the scissors
And all I did was take control

In a month they will grow out
And I hope this time I won’t mess up